Shouldn't laugh, really. We delivered him safely home in the end, so it all ended OK, but I think poor Chris will remember today for some time! It being the New Year, and having some time off work we (everyone but Chris, anyway) have been doing a bit more biking, and today "The Paradise Loop" was our goal.
I can't describe how fabulous this ride is. It's got everything: fast straights, uphill challenges, swooping downhills, beautiful views, not much traffic, and loads of cyclists out there enjoying it. I had a previous favourite before I came out to San Francisco, and was pretty determined that no rubbish Yankee routes could ever beat the likes of Winnats Pass, Blaze, Wrynose Pass, or my personal absolute favourite of all time, the Helvellyn Triathlon Route. the Helvellyn route is a blinder. It swoops past the most gorgeous lake you can imagine (Ullswater), then rises up through Patterdale and Dunmail Raise to the A66. You can blast down the A66 as fast as you are able, before turning off and rolling through St Johns in the Vale, into Grasmere and through Rydal to Ambleside. At Ambleside you then encounter "The Struggle". Well named it is too, making 1 in 3 on its way up the Kirkstone Pass. At the Kirkstone Inn you then career down reaching up to 50 MPH if you dare, and if your cycling skills are up to the job. (I've never got past 46 MPH, I'm not good enough, or brave enough). Finally you have a beautiful mostly flat and smooth ride back to Patterdale. I never thought that could be beaten but today it was. I feel unfaithful, like a cheating husband, a dog that abandons its owner, but it's true, and I can't deny it. The Paradise Loop is just that - paradise! OK, I've been off work for a couple of weeks and I'm fully relaxed, almost laid back. And yes, I've just fitted the new bars on my Trek so it's a bit like having a new bike, but even allowing for all this rose-tinted view, Paradise Loop is brilliant. We had let Chris down a bit by mistiming our arrival at Golden Gate Bridge, the traditional meeting spot, and he had been waiting for nearly half an hour when we got there. I should have guessed when I got his texted plea for me to bring extra gloves for him, but anyway he was fully frozen when we arrived (not very hardy, these Californians - the UK Chris would have been in a T shirt, sunbathing). As we set off over the bridge Alex and Oscar were duking it out and Chris and I were trailing. It was clear today was going to be a tough one. We went through Sausalito and Mill Valley, and up onto a good climb where a couple of weeks ago I'd pulled a fast one on Oscar. I offered him a banana, and as soon as he started eating it I attacked and left him for dead, the only thing slowing my progress up the hill being my own giggling. This time Oscar was having none of it, and Alex was in a pack of passing cyclists and going like a train. We regrouped at the top and carried on, whooping with glee as we went down the other side, and then onto a terrific, undulating road by the coast into Tiberon.
When we got to the cafe stop, Chris was nowhere to be seen. I'd dropped back a couple of times to pace him, but he had dropped off again so I left him to it. It must have been fully five minutes before he turned up at the cafe and we had already had plenty of laughs at his expense. He arrived looking a bit pale, but of course we showed no mercy. "Welcome back, Chris, good to see you again!" "Glad you could make it" you know the sort of thing. We had coffee, and some cake, and set off back to SF, but Chris was soon spat out the back. He really had disappeared and we were genuinely worried about him and his dreadful bike which is in danger of simply crumbling away to dust at any moment. I phoned him and got a weary, fatalistic response: "You go on, I'll get back on my own" all very noble, but we weren't about to abandon him. We waited and then guided, led, and finally pushed him home. He really was a broken man by this time.
Alex, Oscar and I were having a great time, possibly (though I hate to admit it) taking energy from Chris's misfortune. We pedalled happily over the GGB and back to the cafe stop, dropping Chris off and heading back for home. A great day out.
